Bringing it all together

How do you have it all?

I am not sure you can.  I also don’t necessarily believe that is what you want.  I do believe there is a balance there somewhere.  The one I aspire to as often as I can meets my needs and has more of what I love doing and what is important to me.

So how do I do it.

I start with knowing what I need, love and is important to me.

My doing values help keep me focused – my Health, my son and my business.  95kgs and Present and not distracted are my prompts to understand my health.  Role Model and Guide give me clarity for parenting and Reciprocity steers my business goals.

Each day I make a contribution to and or progress in each of these three areas.  How I do that is guided by my being values of Present, Patient and Curious.

Each decision and commitment I make and action I take are guided by these values.  If I can’t be me and make a contribution to my health, son or business I will not take on a commitment. As often as possible.  When honouring these values I don’t waste energy, I move lightly and with enthusiasm.

Having observed and reflected on my best and worst times I have refined what activities and how much I need to be my best.  These activities go straight into my diary.  I have a diary for annual planning, another for monthly planning and a third for the day-to-day details.  These all capture the events and activities of my life in one place.  There is no separation between work and life.

In addition to my values I have an Ideal day and Ideal job written down that I use to audit my week and or month.  When I reflect this allows me to identify what is missing and what to prioritise in the next period of time.

Over the years I have been challenged between rigidity and flexibility in my scheduling to meet my needs and those close to me.  In recent times there is an equal rigidity around what needs to be done in a day and more flexibility in the timing of those activities to strike a happy balance with others.

I no longer try to make it all happen through sheer will power and on my own preferring to commit to certain people and groups so there is additional support to have more of what I want to do in the way I want to do it.  Basketball, Yoga, The Mankind Project, ML’s Zoom Room Provocations, school council are all groups that facilitate many of the activities that meet me needs.  A running buddy, my son, my co-parent and a handful of friends and family are individuals that also support me in being my best self and doing my best work.

I am also intentional about the environment I live and work in so there are visual reminders and easy access to activities and people I want in my life.  Just as important is limiting access to and exposure to ideas, people and activities that distract me from what I love and is important to me.

If you are wanting to fill your day with more of what you want to do a great activity is to reflect on what you have done.  Then group each activity as What you love doing, What has the greatest impact you can offer, What sucks the life out of you and What can you delegate or automate.  Identifying what you can let go of is a great place to start so being too busy or not having enough time are no longer barriers to doing more of what you want to.  I would then start by adding in one new activity to your dairy on a many times a week basis for three weeks.  I would share your commitment with someone who is supportive of you.  I would also create a visual reminder and place that somewhere that will influence a complimentary behaviour.  I record all my exercise in a monthly wall calendar in the kitchen so it prompts my food choices too. Finally I would also journal daily for the first three weeks to reflect on how you feel doing the new activity and the benefit it is having on your life.

Having it all is an ongoing experiment inspired by new ideas, refined by changing behaviours and continuously reflecting and repositioning your priorities.  A mate and I use to say that if you reach for the stars you will never get a handful of mud.  Why not define your stars and keep reaching so your days are filled with more of what you want.